Challenging

For a while I've meant to blog about Hood to Coast. Hood to Coast is an overnight running relay race, which takes place annually at the end of August. It's 197 miles long, and goes from Mt Hood (to the east of Portland) to Seaside, Oregon. We had twelve runners on the team, each doing 3 different legs, each leg averaging about 6 miles. This time was the second time I've participated in Hood to Coast. It was harder than I thought it would be, but it was fun and definitely had its rewards. If you want to see pictures, you can click on this link: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=478869&id=854910157&l=5ff87ce7ee

It has been more than a month since then, and almost two months since I became unemployed once again. This has been a significant challenge for me. The number of jobs available for nurse practitioners here in the Portland area is very limited, and this allows employers to be very selective in their choices--meaning that they have little use for a new graduate who would need extra support, and their choices for well-experienced FNPs are vast. I've been in contact with numerous recruiters and HR people, and the great majority of them never return my calls or emails despite their agreeing to do so. It has been INCREDIBLY difficult for me not to take this personally.

I don't think I've ever encountered a challenge such as this. I'm the planning type--I always have a plan for how my life will go--and when it doesn't go as I plan, I'm unsure what to do. This time, I keep applying for jobs and contacting people, but it seems like there's no end in sight to my unemployment. No matter what I try, nothing makes a difference. And it's not like I would be working for fun. Financially, we need me to be working, so this adds great stress. Also, because of our tight financial situation, we're not really able to plan for any trips or the like (when I'm having a difficult time, it helps me to have something to look forward to). So I find myself looking every day for jobs that aren't there. I'm not sure what Heavenly Father has in mind for me while I'm unemployed. I'm unsure how to spend my time in a way that is productive. So, lately I've been feeling frustrated, inadequate, and stuck. There are many good things that I want to be able to do, and because of my current unemployment, I'm unable to do them.

Sorry for the depressing entry. I haven't figured out how to make this situation more positive. I sincerely appreciate your prayers and support for us. Please keep it up. We really need them.